Two Broken People Coming Together As A Whole
The things that you have to work out once you get married is that you have to first become whole yourself as you are intermingling with your husband or wife. It is very challenging because as you're searching for who you want to be without knowing who you want to be together as a couple. You're all out of whack because you're emotionally or mentally unstable and have a lot of different perspectives that have developed over time. It's like you are two broken people trying to figure out how to come together as a whole.
Counseling
I recommend couples to go through first with personal counseling, as well as marital counseling so that you can work on your personal issues alone and your spouse can work on his or her issues too. You should always go in and check-in with one another and maybe even create some types of checklists on how are you feeling in different areas and the things you want to work on your marriage. You can do counseling every three to six months to checkup with each other.
Counseling goes more in-depth and goes behind the scenes of the facade. Behind the scenes of your professional or public personality and it goes deeper into the core. It will help you discover your communication style, the holes in your psychological, physical, mental, and emotional state. Couples will be able to get through those things first separately and be working together towards that. They do counseling to mesh all of their issues together and be better at opening up, communicating, and being more sensitive to each other's situation. In counseling, you'll have a mediator to break down all your frustrations, sadness, joy, or even fears.
Life Coaching
I believe that it's very important to have a life coach. A life coach is different from a counselor because life coaching is about getting professional or personal things. You can have a friend that you're working with and you guys would follow a protocol, talk to one another, or you can reach out and get a professional life coach that you can check in with you every three months to a year or more.
There are so many different types of coaches that can help you with your goals like building your own business, improving your health, your relationship with family, and a lot more. That's the purpose of a life coach, you can have someone to check up on you even via email or call you fairly often when you need encouragement, reminders and whatever is needed for you to move forward. It's important to have people in your life that are feeding you but not pacifying. That's what a life coach does, to challenge you but at the same time, be a friend or partner and hold your hand through the process.
Spirituality
The last thing I would encourage two broken people is to get a hold of their spirituality. It's very helpful to have that because being connected mentally, emotionally, and physically creates civility within yourself. Spirituality allows you to not have to carry the whole burden, understanding that there's a circle of life and there are seasons that you go through. I always believe that if a couple has strong faith in God, it empowers them to withstand the storms that come into their marriage.
TAKEAWAYS
I believe that these are the 3 foundations that can help you as a couple to come together as a whole despite of their past experiences, backgrounds, and their differences. However, marriage is a continuous commitment that both of you should work on regardless of how broken you two were before entering your marriage.
If you need help in dealing with marriage or relationship issues. Please feel free to reach out to me here or get a free assessment here and let's work it out together. ❤❤❤
