Marriage! The bride, the groom, and the family sharing in the happy occasion of matrimony. They wed and whisk off to a gorgeous and intimate honeymoon. They spend every moment in awe of being husband and wife.

Time passes and life’s issues surface. The passing of a loved one, a lost child, broken trust, financial issues, and not to mention that they no longer “feel” in love. What should they do and how do they deal with these dilemmas?

Marriage, it’s been a goal for many for decades, but how do you know when you’re ready? I’d like to begin by saying, you’re never fully ready for the type of commitment it takes to stay married. However, there are some things you can do to prepare yourself.

There are three boxes I believe you should have checked off before you even fix your lips to say you’re ready to be a husband or a wife. These include doing your work, knowing your wants and goals. And last but not least, understand what it means to give 100% of yourself to another person.

Today, we will focus on doing your work.

Doing your work refers to searching and analyzing yourself honestly. Many times, we lie to ourselves about who we are, what we stand for, and what we want. Before we can be anything to another person, we must know who we are and speak the truth to ourselves.

Here are the things you can do on your part in preparing for marriage:

Cleaning your closet.

You have to deal with your childhood wounds. Sometimes that wound maybe a father wound or a mother wound. One or both of your parents may have caused you some type of harm and you've defined yourself by their abuse your whole life.

For example, your father could have abandoned you, was an absentee parent, or abused you. You may have felt you were not worth loving and you deserve the abuse from your spouse. Just know you are beautifully made and your father missed out on a great son or daughter. Do not accept abuse of any form from anyone. You may have a mother wound. She may have told you’ll never be anything, or you’re not good enough, or she could have ignored you or abandoned you. This left you feeling hopeless, depressed, and undeserving of love or affection.

As a result, you developed low self-esteem and expect the same abuse from your spouse. I challenge you to stand up for your young self and speak back to your mother. Tell her that you are someone. Tell her that you’re beautiful and loveable and that you were worth her time, but she missed out.

If you have been emotionally, physically, sexually, or psychologically abused seek help. Before you commit to anyone, commit to yourself. Get a counselor and deal with issues such as abandonment, anger, any type of sexual assault or emotional holes within you.

Dealing with your issues with God.

I’m not talking about whether you believe in God or not, but understanding why you do or do not believe in Him. Many times, people either never had a relationship God, have run from God, or have an unfulfilling relationship and do not understand why. It’s important to know where you stand on religion or your views on God before you add another person to the equation. When you are married, you’ll have to decide what to believe in, where to worship, and what religion, if any, to raise the children under.

Religion is a huge factor in marriage. Without clarity, this one area can turn your marriage upside down. Why? Because If you want to build your marriage on the bible, you must have a clear understanding of where you stand on the bible or any religious scripture. Religion or your spiritual belief is the foundation your marriage stands on. Trying to stand on broken beliefs is like standing on a broken mountain, you will all go tumbling down.

TAKEAWAYS

Here’s the thing, only you know what you’ve been bottling up for these years. Sometimes, as you search yourself, you find dark secrets you thought would fade from your memory. Deal with those things!

I challenge you to be HONEST with your skeletons in the closet and become as whole as you can. If you do not deal with the baggage in your life, you carry it into your marriage. You have to do your work or you will end your marriage before it starts.

Before you have eyes for someone else, see yourself!

Love this Pre-Marriage Advice? Check out my Blog Page for the 2nd & 3rd Part of this Series. ❤❤❤

Have You Done Your Work?

Do You Know What You Want?