As I set in the counselor's office nine years ago telling her what I didn’t want in my life and from my husband, she baffled me by asking me what I did want. I just said, “I want to be happy, I want my husband to be helpful, and I want to have fun.” She then asked, “ What do these things look like and what do you want outside of being a wife and mother”. It got me to thinking, what do I want in life?

Would you be able to answer these questions for yourself? Before jumping in marriage with someone else, make sure that YOU have thought about what you want for yourself and you have the answers to offer to your future spouse. The emphasis is on you!

Try to answers these few questions:

1. What is your love language?

There are five love languages:

Physical Touch
Acts of Service
Quality time
Gifts
Words of Affirmation

My husband always tells me I am beautiful, smart, and a great mother. I say thank you and move on. It sounds mean, but Words of Affirmation is not my love language. On the other hand, if he proactively washed some clothes and cleaned the room, I would be all over him like white on rice.

If you don’t know about the five love languages, check out this link and take the test.

2. Do you know what your personal life goals are?

You should plan out in slight detail your personal goals in 1 year, 2 years, and up to five years from now. Nothing concrete, just a rough draft. Think who you want to be, your health, where you’d like to live, and how you’d like to live. Will you live in a city or town. Will you live in a state or out of state. All of this impacts your interdependence on your spouse or future spouse. My husband and I moved from our little city to Portland, OR. to Cleveland, OH. and not pack to California. Those were tough times because we had to create new support systems and adapt to new environments.

3. Do You Know What Your Career Goals Are?

Careers can require lots of traveling and time away from home. Decide on if you or your spouse will stay home or if you will both work. My husband travels 10-15 days out of each month yearly. It’s not easy and we have to find creative ways to stay connected. I am still an entrepreneur on the side.

Knowing your love language and being about to convey that to your spouse or future spouse makes the difference in how you are loved and creates a bond. Having a rough draft of your personal life goals and career goals creates an opportunity to compare notes with your future spouse. After we’re married, we find that we have different goals than our spouse. It’s okay. Don't panic. Each of you creates your draft, compare, and compromise.

TAKEAWAYS

If you know what your love language is, you’ll be able to tell your future spouse as well as family and friends how to make you feel loved. You will also learn how you love others and be able to adjust how you express love to your future spouse.

In marriage, you must give 100% of yourself. Do not jump into this without an understanding of yourself, your plan, and the willingness to give all of you. It makes the journey tougher.

For more pre-marriage advice like this, check out other articles on my Blog Page ❤❤❤

Do You Know What You Want?

Are you Ready to Give 100% of Yourself?

Have You Done Your Work?