Seeing Your Spouse Through Love
No matter how long we’ve been married, we’re going to have times when we don’t understand our spouse or we are ready to lock them out and throw away the key. Sometimes it's a big problem, but it may also be for a small challenge. I know it sounds bad, but do we want to be fake or be real about marriage? When it comes, we have something to combat it, what I have found is that we need to see each other through love.
What does that mean? I mean, of course, we love them, that's why we’re married, right? Seeing each through love and “feeling in love” are two different things. Let's get this straight. It's not difficult to stop “falling in love” as crazy as this sounds. We do things in relationships where something happens and we are thrown off and the first thing we can think of is any and every negative thing that person has done.
As time goes by and as we hold on to these thoughts, we fall out of love. Over time we grow to be furious and we're ready to go for blood or we're ready to just give up and that whole relationship is dead to us. Before anyone can try to save our marriage, we've filed the papers and have marked irreconcilable differences. We don't love each other anymore.
Understand that feelings fade like beauty. One small mistake and both “feeling in love” and beauty are gone. What will make us stay after the beauty of the marriage has faded?
Seeing each other through love. It’s no simple task, but it’s how any good marriage can make it and can become a great marriage. A good book once said that "love covers several wrongs". When we see our spouse through love it changes the way we view them.
There are three ways to begin to see our spouses through the eyes of love.
1. We ask ourselves how we want to be treated and viewed when we make mistakes.
As for me, I wish that I were a better wife but I'm only human and as I go I will grow. I don't believe in failure but I believe in new opportunities to learn. I want to be approached in love and I want to be seen through love so that even when I let you down, I know that you still love and care for me. I understand that you may not agree with what I've done or how I think about the situation, but you will be there and you will see me through love.
2. We take some time to realize what it means to be human.
Being human we’re all created from the different life experiences that we have grown through. We have to allow each other to be in our space of understanding. We come with our own set of flaws, values, and ideologies.
I know for sure that God can expedite whatever you are and make you to where you would've been or even ahead, so in all things you're growing in knowing that you are only human and sometimes we make mistakes and it's OK.
3. Take time to remember where your spouse comes from and how he or she is wired.
Understand that love is not a one-sided commitment, your spouse can also have his or her own mistakes, shortcomings and beliefs. As you wanted to be heard, understood, loved and cared for so as your spouse. Take time to communicate about the problems with your spouse and work on how you can both compromise.
Every marriage can eventually reach their boiling point wherein you're convinced that it is better to just end it. But whatever situation you and your spouse are in, if you see each other through love for sure your marriage will last.
TAKEAWAYS
Pondering these three thoughts will move us to understand how to see our spouses through love. As we start to look at our shortcomings and think of what we want for ourselves, loving someone else becomes a privilege. We use love to cover the wrongs of the spouse we chose or that chose us.
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I am a certified life coach and I have been coaching since 2011.
